The Kardashians are constantly in the headlines, but they finally made the obituaries. There’s no need to worry. Nothing happened to the beloved reality television family, but one man’s humorous obituary mentioned the Kardashians as something he despised in life. In death, Raymond Alan “Big Al” Brownley can finally be free from the laundry list of things he could live without.
According to MSN, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ran with the anti-Kardashians obituary following the September 21, 2014 death of the 82-year-old Korean War veteran. Raymond Alan “Big Al” Brownley disliked everything from reality shows in general and the Kardashians in particular to cranberry sauce, Tabasco sauce and oatmeal, but life wasn’t all bad.
Brownley had a penchant for homemade chili, cursing, and Gas-X (presumably for the aftereffects of his homemade chili). In fact, the deceased man appreciated a variety of food and beverages, including locally sourced food, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, leftovers, turtle soup, sardines on crackers, stuffed cabbage, and that universal favorite: bacon. Apparently, he could also hold his liquor.
“His fondness of spaghetti Westerns was only surpassed by his love of bacon, beer and butter pecan ice cream… He was also on a first-name basis with the Four Horsemen of liquor: Jack, Jim, Johnnie and Jose.”
Although the Kardashians may have been among Brownley’s pet peeves, there were several people whom he adored. He loved his wife, who passed away in 1990 after more than two decades of marriage; he also loved his children, grandchildren and a beagle named Holly Hill Rip Van Winkle. Brownley enjoyed hunting, gardening and one other outdoor sport in particular, according to the tongue-in-cheek Kardashian-hating obit posted online by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
“He also enjoyed fishing and proudly displayed the stuffed barracuda he caught back in 1965, much to the dismay of his wife, Agnes Bargo Brownley, to whom he was married to for 24 years.”
Brownley may not have enjoyed watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but he did find at least one use for his television. He watched Sunday services every week at Asbury Heights Nursing Home in Mt. Lebanon.
“Big Al” Brownley would have been surprised to learn that the matriarch and (second) patriarch of the Kardashian clan recently filed for divorce. Kris and Bruce Jenner were married in 1991. In 2013, the couple separated. They filed for divorce earlier this month. According to reports, the divorce docs revealed an interesting and previously unknown tidbit about the Jenners. As previously reported by The Inquisitr, Kris and Bruce Jenner are allegedly facing down the barrel of an audit by the Internal Revenue Service.
Bruce Jenner is presumably exempt from Raymond Alan “Big Al” Brownley’s dislike of the Kardashians.
Organizers were forced to cancel the 18th annual Redneck Christmas Parade in Chumuckla, Fla., after the once-family friendly event turned into a beer-fueled mess. The town's replaced the parade with another hillbilly happening: the Redneck Mud Run.
The beer-guzzling Grinch stole the Redneck Christmas Parade, y'all!
Arguing that the 17-year-old tradition was plagued with reckless, booze-fueled shenanigans, organizers canceled this year's Redneck Christmas Parade in Chumuckla, Fla.
The Panhandle town's athletic association made the announcement on its Facebook page Monday.
The 2014 spectacle would have been the town's 18th redneck processional.
"The parade has gone from a wholesome family event to a trashy beer fest," organizers wrote.
The hillbilly festival started as a charity event to raise funds for needy families during the holidays, the Northwest Florida Daily News reported.
For years, the parade delighted residents with silly redneck stereotypes: Santa Clauses on tractors, garland-adorned pickups and lots of people in cowboy boots and camo funneled through the town's streets.
But the Podunk pleasure turned into a hick hassle.
"We hate to end what started as a family event but it has gotten out of hand over the years with the drinking, the trash people leaves (sic.) all down the road tearing up the fields and vandalizing and disrespecting the property of others," the Chumuckla Athletic Association wrote on Facebook.
Organizers had to pay the local sheriff's office $3,000 per year for security — and even that didn't stop the beer-guzzling hood rats.
While disappointed, many of the rednecks agreed the parade was too much trouble.
(youtube.com and sheethappensprep.com)
Saturday 9/20/14: After nearly an hour stopped on eastbound I-76 just outside of King of Prussia, PA... I met two musicians and convinced them to help pass the time until the accident was cleared ahead.
A party broke out- the best traffic jam I've ever been in.
Traffic on I-76 in Philadelphia came to a standstill on Saturday afternoon. The Trinidad North Steel Drum Band & Company broke out their instruments and held an impromptu limbo contest. The contest lasted for 15 minutes